Chandrababuism
You have two cows in Vijayawada . You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad.
Jayalalithaism
You have two cows. You teach them to cry,"Ammaaaaaaa..." and fall at your feet.
Karunanidhiism
You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew .
Gandhism
You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.
Indiraism
You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.
Lalooism
You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.
Rajnikantism
You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.
Rajivism
You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.
Softwarism:(Ultimate....)
Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.
1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)
2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)
3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design)
4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them
(Framework)
5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client
the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)
6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2
7 You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem
with accessories. (Change framework)
8 . Redo step 4
9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)
11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.
12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from
bulls
13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow
rate (performance issue)
17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.
18. Client is happy ???
By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and
get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!
So here how the IT companies do it in reality !!!
INFOSYSism
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.
WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.
SATYAMism
You have a cow. You have its milk. But don't know what to do with it!
DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk.
IBMism
You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.
MICROSOFTism
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.
SUNism
You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.
ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.
SAPism
You don't have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.
APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.
SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.
CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.
HPism
You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.
GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.
RELIANCEism
You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.
TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.
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